


Soft (But With Feeling)

by AbbodonAbandon



Category: Death Note, Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note: Anime & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Body Hair, Cis Matsuda, Cuddling & Snuggling, Discussion of Boundaries, Dysphoria, Established Relationship, LOTS OF CONSENT, M/M, Mario Kart, Oral Sex, Penetrationless sex, Sex Dysphoria, Trans Light Yagami, transgender character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 10:01:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12981660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbbodonAbandon/pseuds/AbbodonAbandon
Summary: Matsuda does his best to make sex good for his dysphoric boyfriend, Light (au)





	Soft (But With Feeling)

**Author's Note:**

> inabsurd is responsible for Light moaning King Boo in Mario Kart. Anyways please enjoy these soft boyfriends (and please please comment I beg you)

Matsuda growled, shaking the controller in his hand. The small yoshi in the oversized bike plummeted off of the glittering clear roadway for the fifth time that game. Beside him, Light smirked; his King Boo had already cruised himself into first place. 

“You know, you'd do better if you kept your eyes on the screen.” Matsuda glanced up at Light’s teasing voice. Again, his car plummeted off of the road. 

“You little- you've already won and you-” Matsuda growled out, dropping his controller and stalking towards his boyfriend. 

“H-hey!” The shriek tumbled out of Light as Matsuda “pounced”, landing and pinning him on the couch. 

“Hey what?” Matsuda grunted between kisses to Light’s face. “You little shit.”

Light only rolled his eyes before kissing him back. 

Soft fingers threaded through Light’s hair, one tracing along his jawline. Matsuda quite liked the view of Light curled up beneath him. “I think we've found one thing you're good at.” Light gasped. Matsuda only snorted and nipped down his neck, teeth teasing goosebumps into the tender skin. 

Sliding so he fully straddled Light, his hand slid down Light’s stomach to the waistband of his jeans. A lone finger toyed with the fly. 

“What are you doing?” Concern and… uneasiness stared back up at Matsuda. His hand jerked away.

“I- I was just going to unbutton your pants. I'm so sorry, I thought that was where this was going-”

“No, it's fine.” Light straightened, pulling his legs in on himself. Matsuda cringed at the sudden chill. 

“I'm sorry-”

“Please don't be, ok?” Light didn't look at him. 

“... Can you tell me what's wrong?” His hand reached out to touch Light’s shoulder. 

“I- you wouldn't understand.”

“Try me. If it's about… you being trans, isn't it better to try and tell me than to not try at all?”

A half smile flitted across Light’s face before disappearing. “Fine. I don't like the thought… of anyone being ‘inside’ of me.” Dull red bloomed in Light’s cheeks as he curled further in on himself. “It makes me dysphoric.”

“Oh. Ah, I could see how that's a problem. Do, do you mean just in your, um, front hole? Or do you not like having something in your ass?”

The red had fully coalesced when Light answered. “Not there, either. I've never really… explored there.”

Matsuda squeezed his shoulder. “That's fine, Light. So, you've never had sex?”

“No. You're my first.” A small smile flashed at Matsuda. 

“You're my first boyfriend, too.” Matsuda returned the smile. 

“So can we get back to the game?” The smile turned wry, and Light shrugged the hand off. Matsuda pushed the small pang of hurt away. 

“Sure! Well, as long as you play fairly this time.”

\----------------

Over the next few days, Light remained distant. Usually, he slept close to Matsuda, tucked right under his arm on their king-size bed. But now, he remained at the edge, burrowed into the pillow with the blanket clutched in his hands. 

Matsuda knew he needed to give him space, because Light was independent and he would work through his problems and finally return to him at the end of it with a long explanation on his thoughts and feelings and how they intertwined with Matsuda’s but-

This felt different. Colder. Lonelier. 

So finally, Matsuda asked him. 

After work, seated on the couch and watching the TV flash in front of them, Light curled against the opposite arm of the sofa. 

“What's wrong, Light?”

Light stiffened. There was no answer. Until-

“I'm a bad boyfriend, aren't I?” 

“Why??!” 

For a long pause, Light didn't answer, only stared at the TV. Finally, shaking, he said, “Because I won't let you touch me. I'm ugly and fucked up and useless and you should just get rid of me and and and andnandand-” Light’s desperate sobs found themselves abruptly muffled by Matsuda’s chest. 

“Do not think that ever.” He growled, almost crushing Light into himself in his need to comfort him. “Please. I love you, ok? No matter what.” Sobs were his only answer. 

“Love you too.” Light whispered. 

Matsuda pulled him closer so he lay seated on his lap, head propped on his chest just below Matsuda’s. Neither of them noticed as the TV program ended. 

“I think I'd like to try it.” The voice was so soft that Matsuda barely heard it. 

“What?” 

“S-sex. I've never done it, and… maybe it would be nice. But none of the scary stuff, ok?”

“No penetration. I promise.”

“D-do you want to now, or-”

“How about you give me some time to prepare? I could make it nice for you…”

Light smiled softly. “That would be nice, thank you.”

A grin broke Matsuda’s face. “No, thank you!” Draping a blanket across Light, he slowly disentangled himself from the boy. “Wait here, alright?”

When he finally returned to Light, who was now stretched on the couch, something buzzed in his stomach. 

“I'm ready.” He said it softly. Light looked up, an eye cracked open to stare. 

“Should I wear a blindfold? So it'll be a surprise.”

Matsuda smiled. He was very glad to see Light felt comfortable enough to tease. 

“Oh, nothing that fancy, my lord. In fact, why don't you come see for yourself?”

Light snorted, untangling himself from the blanket before following Matsuda upstairs. 

The door to their bedroom hung ajar, low light spilling into the hallway. 

A low, pleased noise left Light as he stepped into the room. Matsuda grinned. 

He had dimmed the lamps until only a soft, feathery light filled the room. The bed’s pillows were arranged so as to create a comfortable space for Light to lie down in, and one lone stuffed animal sat on the edge of the bed. 

“A stuffed animal? Really? Do you want me to… hump it?” Red covered Light’s face. 

“N-no! I just thought you'd like something to hold on to while I… did stuff, is all...” He trailed off sheepishly. 

“That's, that's really sweet. Thank you.” Light’s hand reached out to squeeze Matsuda’s. “So, do you want me to lie down there?” He pointed to the middle of the bed. 

“Yes, with your clothes off. And uh, if you could spread your legs…”

Light nodded. Carefully, he pulled off his shirt and pants, face turned away from Matsuda. His boxers came off last. Dark hairs covered Light’s nether regions. Matsuda blinked as he realized Light wasn't wearing his binder. 

“Why aren't you…” a finger awkwardly gestured at his chest. 

“That? I thought it would constrict my breathing too much if I wore it.”

“Oh. I shouldn't touch you there, right?”

“I'd rather you didn't, thank you.” Light smiled before climbing onto the bed. He lay down flat, legs parting slightly. Matsuda licked his lips. 

“I'll go slowly, ok? Just tell me if I need to stop.” 

Light nodded, pulling the stuffed animal to his chest. 

Climbing onto the bed, Matsuda hovers over Light. He placed a soft kiss on Light’s lips, fingers toying with his hair. Light giggled at the touch. 

“Silly little thing, aren't you?” He purred between kisses to Light’s face.

“Only for you.”

Pulling back, Matsuda felt his heart speed up. Light’s face was already flushed, his chest shaking with each of his breaths. 

Placing his hands on Light’s hips, he laid a trail of soft kisses down his stomach. Small tremors shook Light as he attempted to suppress more giggles. 

“Ticklish?” Matsuda laughed. 

“Yes! Keep going!”

Matsuda did, nudging his nose into Light’s soft skin as he made a line to the inside of Light’s thigh. Lapping softly at the heated skin, he looked back at Light. Light nodded encouragement, his mouth twisted in bliss. “Please. More.”

Gently, he grabbed Light’s legs, one in each hand, and pulled them apart. His thumbs kneaded the supple flesh. Light’s front entrance, somewhat hidden by dark brown, curled hairs, opened slightly, pink and inviting. The head of Light’s t-cock, small but erect, poked out.

“I'm going to use my tongue on you, ok? Do you want me to just stick to your t-cock, or can I put it in your hole too? And would you like to rub my hand against it?”

“Both are fine. And the hand sounds really nice…” Light’s voice had already turned breathy. 

The back of Matsuda’s hand pressed into the tender, heated skin. The hair felt soft and downy against him. Light grunted at the touch, hips bucking ever so slightly into it. Matsuda pushed harder, rubbing the back of his hand up and down along Light’s front hole. Wetness soaked his skin. 

“Keep going!” Light huffed, pushing into the hand harder. Matsuda purred; Light’s legs had already begun to twitch cutely. 

He pulled his hand away, and Light whined. “Shh baby; I'm not done yet.” Nosing his face into Light, Matsuda gently lapped Light’s tip. The small penis bobbed in excitement. 

“Oh fuck!” Light panted. 

“Like that, huh baby?” Matsuda lowered his tongue to the beginning of Light’s front hole before dragging a long and slow line to his tip. A long string of cum trailed after. “You taste so good…”

Light only moaned in response. 

With each lap, Light’s legs tensed more and more, his soft whines and whimpers filling the room and making Matsuda’s cock throb. 

He brought his hand up again to push against Light in time with Light’s thrusts against him, his tongue encapsulating and gently sucking on Light’s t-cock. Light moaned in time with each of his thrusts, face screwed up and bright red as he gasped. 

“Such a good baby. Let it all out for me, ok? I love how much you're enjoying this. I love you so fucking much.” Matsuda near growled around Light’s cock, pushing Light further and further to climax. With one last hard thrust against his hand, Light’s legs tensed and his front hole spasmed, clear, viscous fluid leaking and dropping down Matsuda's hand. 

Light panted, lying still with his legs spread wide open. Cum still dribbled from his opening. Tentatively, Matsuda cuddled into his side, wrapping an arm around him so Light lay nestled against his chest. “Did I do good, baby?”

Light looked back at him, with the softest smile he had ever seen on Light’s face. “No, Matsu, you did perfect.”


End file.
